Don’t Be Depressed…
For anyone who has dealt with mental health issues, the aforementioned anecdotal response is all too familiar. For those who have not faced such challenges, it might seem logical that one should be in control of their thoughts and emotions – just reprogram the brain with some rationality and move on, right?
What is mental health? Is it a fad? Is it an excuse?
Before I had personal experience with mental health struggles, I wasn’t sure what it really meant. The challenge with mental health issues is that even the same diagnosis can manifest in drastically different ways for each person. No one experiences it the same way, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to alleviating these feelings. So, let’s start at the beginning…
In the beginning, God created man and woman. He made us in His image, creating complex and beautiful beings with both body and soul. He designed us to live, learn, interact, process, discern, and make choices based on the gifts He has given us. On our journey, He allows us to explore and “create” our lives, providing everything we need while hoping we respond to His loving call back to Him.
Along the way, we encounter hurdles, and for me, many of them trace back to past experiences of insecurity. Several hospital visits left me with vivid flashbacks, particularly at the sound of an ambulance siren. Who would have guessed that a simple scene from Finding Dory could trigger memories of waking up surrounded by life-flight personnel? Even something as simple as hearing my name called could bring me back to moments when my mother screamed for me to wake up after a vasovagal episode. These events are in the past, but my brain sometimes feels trapped, as if I’m reliving those health struggles all over again.
Since the fall of mankind, the world has been full of peril, evil, strain, and burdens. Most of us can process these challenges as they come, working through them in real-time. But sometimes, we hit a wall. No matter how we approach it, it seems impossible to get around. It’s not something we consciously choose, and often we don’t even realize the wall is there until it’s in our way. We just know something feels off. In response, we might try everything to push through or “move on.” Maybe we attempt a different path or try to avoid it altogether. Somehow, that wall always seems to reappear, and there’s no permanent way to avoid it. If we truly are stuck, how do we get out?
The most common escape is avoidance. It works… until it doesn’t. When preparing for my child’s arrival, I was working 60 hours a week at a local restaurant. After only three days of paternity leave, I was back to the grind. It wasn’t until a minor caraccident, due to exhaustion, that I realized I needed something less strenuous. So, I took on three part-time jobs to support us, but the toll of working nights for just $40 in tips started to feel unbearable. I was killing myself and still not providing for my family. Then the thoughts began to flood in: Was I a capable provider? And soon, the darker “solution” to escape surfaced: Why was I even here? Would they be better off without me? Why am I such a failure?
As much as I try to explain the countless ways our brains try to resolve these blocks, the truth is our minds are so clever that they make decisions without our conscious awareness. Our brains create these solutions without consent, and sometimes it feels like there is no other choice but to follow them. Our minds can convince us that there’s no way out, and rationality becomes impossible. As I sat at an intersection, those thoughts compounded, making it seem almost tempting to drive into oncoming traffic just to make it stop. Rational thought was out of the question. So, what do I do?
It feels deeply embarrassing to admit that I can’t control my own thoughts. Seeking help would mean acknowledging that something is wrong with me – that I’m “crazy.” I’m not insane, right? What if others judge me? If these feelings are irrational, what can anyone else do about them? I’ve got other things to worry about. I don’t want to sit in a therapist’s office, and I certainly can’t afford to pay someone to listen to my problems... Can’t I just vent to a friend?
From my own experience, I can tell you that none of these approaches work. After five years, six doctors, and countless medications, it took me this long just to function again. The conclusion I’ve reached is that there is no quick fix. The daily triggers, the trust issues, the lethargy, the lack of emotion, and the episodes began to affect more than just me. They became larger than what I could handle on my own.
Surrendering – Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
When your mind no longer makes sense, there is only one place to turn. Turn to God, and ask for His guidance. It’s comforting to remember that Jesus endured every temptation during His earthly life. Despite the rash decisions our brains may urge us to make, He waits to comfort us and guide us home. We must also remember that His hands and feet are His Church, and He has blessed many people with the knowledge and skills to help us realign ourselves and overcome these hurdles.
Mental health struggles are deeply personal and often feel isolating, especially when there seems to be no clear way out. While avoidance may offer temporary relief, it is not a long-term solution. The key to navigating these challenges lies in surrendering to God’s guidance. Acknowledging our vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but rather a step toward healing, as it opens us to the comfort and support we need to move forward.
Life is not a single event, but a series of moments that ebb and flow with time, emotions, and circumstances. Health will come and go, but through it all, you are never alone. If you are seeking help on your journey, consider the wonderful resources available here at St. Max, and don’t hesitate to reach out. For better or worse, we are a family, and you are loved.